Occhio contro occhio
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Sinatra, a Morality Tale.
(May 14, 2008)
Harry Benson
Frank Sinatra at Truman Capote's "Black and White Ball," New York City, 1966
Musings on Italian-American masculinity, power, and bullying on the tenth anniversary of Frank Sinatra’s death.
I hated Sinatra growing up.
Aesthetically, the “Kid from Hoboken” ran counter to the ’60 gestalt of the rock singer/songwriter expressing his (the reigning model was masculine despite Janis, Joni, Grace, and others) personal views of relevant topics like the civil rights movement and the Vietnam War. No trivial Tin Pan Alley commercial love for me! In addition, my perception was that American crooning was a racist rip off and a diminishment of black musical styles that went unrecognized and unremunerated. Politically, Sinatra was the epitome of the reactionary white ethnic who opposed the various progressive movements that emerged during the 1960s-1970s.
There was an additional dimension to my aversion to Sinatra. My father detested him.
The stated reason had nothing to do with taste, politics, or the hedonistic Vegas life style. Rather it was Sinatra’s mean-spiritedness and abusive personality that my father found offensive. He didn’t like how Sinatra took advantage of his power to dominate and intimidate others, especially women. My father’s observations on the Jersey singer were invariably couched as a morality tale importing a valued life lesson to his first born male child: This is how not to be a man.
Sinatra’s (and Dean Martin’s) infamous 1983 intimation of an Atlantic City card dealer, Kyong Kim, to break New Jersey casino laws and his racist comment, angered my father. Kim, along with three coworkers, was suspended from her job without pay and the casino was fined $25,000. While implicated as the cause of the violation, Sinatra and Martin were not fined. New Jersey Casino Control Commissioner Joel Jacobsen denounced Sinatra as “an obnoxious bully” with a “bloated ego.”
The cautionary tale I recall the best, in part, because I heard versions of it from other Italian Americans over the years, was the one about Sinatra’s vindictive sabotaging of singer Jimmy Rosselli’s career after the latter refused to perform at a 1969 benefit organized by Sinatra’s mother Dolly. Biographer David Evanier provides a version in Making the Wiseguys Weep: The Jimmy Roselli Story (1998), which involves perceived slights, acts of disrespect, and bruised macho egos. The oral versions I heard over the years, while slightly different, all made the same point: “Do not act like this man.”
In his now classic treatise Blood of My Blood: The Dilemma of the Italian Americans (1974), Richard Gambino argues that the Italian-American ideal of masculinity can be characterized by the phrase l’uomo di pazienza, the man of patience. But his purported principle was not always the lived experience of numerous women and children who dealt daily with the abuse and violence of patriarchal power. Writers Lorenzo Carcatterra, Rachel Guido deVries, Gianna Patriarca, Vittoria Repetto, Karen Tindori, and others have penned verse, novels, and memoirs to expose, purge, and heal their personal stories of psychological and physical brutality. Others have taken other measures to address the problem. For an example closer to home, Drs. Emelise Aleandri and Gloria Salerno, former staff members of Queens College’s John D. Calandra Italian American Institute, sued the City University of New York (CUNY) because of what they considered the “psychological abuse” and the creation of “a workplace that was hostile to women” at the hands of their then supervisor Joseph Scelsa, according to The Clarion. The May 2005 edition of this newspaper, the official organ of the Professional Staff Congress union representing CUNY faculty and staff, reported that Aleandri and Salerno settled their seven-year-long discrimination lawsuit against CUNY for over $1 million.
I have come to love Sinatra the singer, embracing his rich, expressive masculine tenor. Recent scholarship by Gerald Meyer and John Gennari has helped me to appreciate Sinatra’s once progressive politics and his influence on African-American artists. But as Fred Gardaphé writes in From Wiseguys and Wise Men: The Gangster and Italian American Masculinities (2006), the “redirection and redefinition of Italian-American masculinities” calls for “the absence of macho,” a new state he christens “zero.” As somone who grapples with his own bullying tendencies, I impart to my children their grandfather’s cautionary tale of the Chairman of the Board’s abusiveness and all the other Italian-American thugs in an effort to relegate the remnants of such patriarchal violence to the annals of history.
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Sinatra
Not a nice person but a magnificent singer of popular songs. Talent and human kindness frequently do not go together. Many reasons have been offered.
cf: Richard Wagner
Careful what you wish for…
As always: a very interesting, informative and most importantly, thought provoking note; Thank You! ///// In the thought provoking department, having a social scientific bent, I tend to see Sinatra’s persona in the context of artist in general. My limited anecdotal knowledge of the history of the arts and the biographies of artist suggest that there is a positive correlation between eccentric social behavior and genius. Yours only devotes one sentence to the voice of the man know as “The Voice”. However, can we divorce his behavior from the beauty of his voice and how it was received? Interesting, you use the word “masculine” to characterize his voice. This, no doubt, is accurate for the period in which you were “growing up” (i.e. the Sixties). However, if one follows the evolution of his voice back to its origins, I think, ‘beauty’ is more accurate. For example, “The House I Live In” in a 1945 WW II patriotic film clip; or, “Moniqua”, the theme song from the movie “The Kings Go Forth”; I think there are moments in these two songs that represent the most beautiful tenor sounds in recorded history. Others may reasonably disagree with the subjective aesthetic generalization. However, that they are beautiful cannot be denied. It is hard (perhaps impossible) for ‘mere morals’ to appreciate how a person who creates beauty and receives huge populous accolades reacts. Is it humanly possible to be humble when millions of people literally worship you? Is it possible to be faithful in marriage and treat women as peers when the most beautiful women in the world throw themselves at you and will (and want) to do anything for you? I don’t know. Perhaps there are some who can remain statically normal and acceptable; but, I think they are few. ////// Also, when viewing Sinatra in the context of Italian American men, there are two things, I think are significant. First, he avoided projecting an Italian American persona. Compare his to Dean Martin. Martin dressed like one expected an Italian American male to dress (look at his suits, shirts, ties, jewelry, etc) While Sinatra wore almost British vested tweeds. I don’t know of Sinatra ever singing any Italian language verses or making Italian jokes. Martin loved to sing in Italian and often indulged in self-deprivating hyperbolic Italian American accents and idiomatic humor.///// Secondly, regarding Gardaphe’s admonition: “redirection and redefinition of Italian-American masculinities…the absence of macho...”; if you eliminated macho from the Italian American male, do you really have an Italian American male? This is not a rhetorical question. It’s a genuine cultural question. First, I know of no systemic sociological study that demonstrates that Italian American men MISTREAT women at home or in the work place more than American males in general. And, I never get tired of pointing out that Italians did not invent “paternalism.” It is a basic old world trans-cultural value. The children and grandchildren of the immigrants were caught in a cultural time warp. The men tried to behave as husbands and fathers in accordance with millenniums old traditions, while America was in a cultural transition redefining those roles. I’ve know those so-called abusive parents very well. I don’t hold them in contempt. I feel sorry for men who thought they were doing best for the people they loved, and instead they garnered contempt (indeed in some cases – hate).///// Having said that, in general, macho does not entail being abusive. Macho may however be normal for, indeed close to the essence of, Italian American males. Certainly, the huge volumes of artist representation of macho Italian American males suggest that our artist see us that way. These artistic representations, sociological studies, anecdotal reports and the relatively few Italian American males who pursue advanced degrees in the humanities all suggest that macho is close to the essence of Italianita. I say: be careful what you wise for. If you eliminate the machismo, do you eliminate the Italian American man – indeed, the Italian American culture? /// Thanks again. Ciao for now. Tom Verso
ever changing
Tom,
Thanks for your comments.
I've cut & pasted edited portions of your comments below and replied using CAPS.
As always: a very interesting, informative and most importantly, thought provoking note; Thank You! ///// In the thought provoking department, having a social scientific bent, I tend to see Sinatra’s persona in the context of artist in general. My limited anecdotal knowledge of the history of the arts and the biographies of artist suggest that there is a positive correlation between eccentric social behavior and genius.
I DON'T BELEIVE THAT'S TRUE AT ALL. THE NOTION OF "TROUBLED ARTIST" IS A VERY 'MODERN" -- LATE 19TH-20TH CENTURIES -- CONSTRUCT. THERE ARE PLENTY OF GREAT ARTISTS WHO DIDN'T ACT LIKE EITHER CARAVAGGIO OR PICASSO.
Yours only devotes one sentence to the voice of the man know as “The Voice”. However, can we divorce his behavior from the beauty of his voice and how it was received?
IT'S NOT ABOUT SEPARATING PERSONALITY AND ARTISTRY, IT'S ABOUT CALLING OUT REPUGNANT BEHAVIOR, ESPECIALLY OF THOSE IN POWER, EVEN IF THE POWER COMES FROM BEING A CELEBRITY.
Interesting, you use the word “masculine” to characterize his voice. This, no doubt, is accurate for the period in which you were “growing up” (i.e. the Sixties). However, if one follows the evolution of his voice back to its origins, I think, ‘beauty’ is more accurate. For example, “The House I Live In” in a 1945 WW II patriotic film clip; or, “Moniqua”, the theme song from the movie “The Kings Go Forth”; I think there are moments in these two songs that represent the most beautiful tenor sounds in recorded history. Others may reasonably disagree with the subjective aesthetic generalization. However, that they are beautiful cannot be denied.
SINATRA'S VOICE IS BOTH MASCULINE AND BEAUTIFUL.
It is hard (perhaps impossible) for ‘mere morals’ to appreciate how a person who creates beauty and receives huge populous accolades reacts. Is it humanly possible to be humble when millions of people literally worship you?
A JERK IS A JERK WHETHER HE/SHE CREATES ART OR NOT.
Is it possible to be faithful in marriage and treat women as peers when the most beautiful women in the world throw themselves at you and will (and want) to do anything for you? I don’t know.
YOU'VE ANSWERED YOUR OWN QUESTION THERE TOM.
Perhaps there are some who can remain statically normal and acceptable; but, I think they are few. ////// Also, when viewing Sinatra in the context of Italian American men, there are two things, I think are significant. First, he avoided projecting an Italian American persona.
GIL FAGIANI HAS WRITTEN ON THIS SUBJECT IN HIS 1999 ESSAY “THE ITALIAN IDENTITY OF FRANK SINATRA.” VIA: VOICES IN ITALIAN AMERICANA (FALL), 19–32.
MUCH OF THE NEW LITERATURE ON SINATRA, E.G., GENNARI, D'ACIERNO, AND OTHERS, DEVELOP THE IDEA THAT SINATRA EMBODIED ITALIANITA', HOWEVER YOU DEFINE IT.
Compare his to Dean Martin. Martin dressed like one expected an Italian American male to dress (look at his suits, shirts, ties, jewelry, etc) While Sinatra wore almost British vested tweeds. I don’t know of Sinatra ever singing any Italian language verses or making Italian jokes.
SEE FAGIANI. RE: JOKES, SEE MY FIRST LINK.
Martin loved to sing in Italian and often indulged in self-deprivating hyperbolic Italian American accents and idiomatic humor.///// Secondly, regarding Gardaphe’s admonition: “redirection and redefinition of Italian-American masculinities…the absence of macho...”; if you eliminated macho from the Italian American male, do you really have an Italian American male?
TOM, YOU'RE ENGAGING IN ESSENTIALISM. I'M NOT ITALIAN-AMERICAN IF I DON'T EAT MACARONI AT SUNDAY DINNER, TALK WITH MY HANDS, SLAP MY SPOUSE, ETC., ETC. THE LIST IS ENDLESS. SOCIAL SCIENTISTS NO LONGER SEE ETHNICITY AS A CHECK LIST OF THINGS PEOPLE DO BUT A FLUID NOTION OF SELF AND GROUP CREATED IN INTERACTION WITH OTHERS.
This is not a rhetorical question. It’s a genuine cultural question. First, I know of no systemic sociological study that demonstrates that Italian American men MISTREAT women at home or in the work place more than American males in general.
I DOUBT THERE IS SUCH A STUDY. I NEVER SAID THEY DO. IT'S A GENDER ISSUE AND A POWER ISSUE.
And, I never get tired of pointing out that Italians did not invent “paternalism.” It is a basic old world trans-cultural value. The children and grandchildren of the immigrants were caught in a cultural time warp. The men tried to behave as husbands and fathers in accordance with millenniums old traditions,
LET ME STOP YOU RIGHT THERE BECAUSE THIS IS A PET PEEVE OF MINE, I.E., THAT SOUTHERN ITALIAN "CULTURE" IS 1,000S OF YEARS OLD. IT'S NOT. ITALIAN-AMERICAN "CULTURE" IS VERY MUCH A HISTORICALLY DEVELOPED SET OF TRAITS THAT BEGIN TO EMERGE WITH 1ST, ECONOMIC CHANGES IN THE EARLY 19TH CENTURY; 2NDLY, THE ECONOMIC AND POLITICAL CHANGES RESULTING FROM UNIFICATION; AND 3RDLY, THE IMPACT OF EMIGRATION. IT'S MUCH MORE COMPLICATED THAN I'M WILLING OR ABLE TO WRITE ABOUT HERE. THERE'S PLENTY OF LITERATURE ON THE SUBJECT.
while America was in a cultural transition redefining those roles. I’ve know those so-called abusive parents very well. I don’t hold them in contempt. I feel sorry for men who thought they were doing best for the people they loved, and instead they garnered contempt (indeed in some cases – hate).///// Having said that, in general, macho does not entail being abusive. Macho may however be normal for, indeed close to the essence of, Italian American males.
THERE IS NO 'ESSENCE" OF ITALIAN AMERICAN MASCULINITY. (SOUNDS LIKE A HORRIBLE IDEA FOR A COLOGNE.) AN ITALIAN AMERICAN MAN WHO IS MACHO AND ONE WHO IS NOT ARE STILL BOTH ITALIAN AMERICAN MEN (WHATEVER THAT MEANS). IT'S THE "CHECK LIST" NOTION OF ETHNICITY. YOU'VE HEARD THE ANECDOTE, NO DOUBT, OF THE TURN OF THE CENTURY SOCIAL WORKER WHO, VISITING AN ITALIAN FAMILY IN THEIR TENEMENT APARTMENT, REPORTED: “NOT YET AMERICANIZED, STILL EATING SPAGHETTI.”
Certainly, the huge volumes of artist representation of macho Italian American males suggest that our artist see us that way. These artistic representations, sociological studies, anecdotal reports and the relatively few Italian American males who pursue advanced degrees in the humanities
1. TOM, YOU NEED TO UPDATE YOUR READING LIST, ESPECIALLY ALL THOSE BOOKS BY ITALIAN AMERICAN MALE HUMANITIES PROFESSORS. THEN YOU CAN TAKE IT UP WITH THEM ABOUT THEIR MACHOISMO!
all suggest that macho is close to the essence of Italianita.
2. YOU'RE CERTIANLY NOT EQUATING "MACHO" VS. "ADVNACE DEGREES IN THE HUMANITIES?!" AS IN , "ONLY WOMEN AND SISSIES GET PH.Ds IN LITERATURE?!" I KNOW YOU'RE NOT SAYING THAT BUT THAT'S HOW IT SOUNDS.
I say: be careful what you wise for. If you eliminate the machismo, do you eliminate the Italian American man – indeed, the Italian American culture?
OF COURSE NOT. JUST ONE EXAMPLE, MARTIN SCORSESE, AN ASTHMATIC CHILD WHO WANTED TO BECOME A PRIEST, ONE OF THE GREATEST CINEMA EGGHEADS IN THE WORLD, A MAJOR ITALIAN-AMERICAN ARTIST, AND I WOULD ADD -- NO INSULT INTENDED -- ZERO MACHO.
THANKS AGAIN FOR WRITING. BEST, JOE
/// Thanks again. Ciao for now. Tom Verso
sinatra
What's a Joey Skee? Is that an Italian name? Sinatra is an Icon. If you look into the life you will see he lived many lives in his 83 yearsYou have gotten most of your facts through tabloids. Yes there are times that the man is less then cordial and maybe abusive. But you do not condemn a legend because of a couple of stories you heard. As for him losing his Italian persona. Don't forget when it wasn't the norm he kept his Italian name (unlike you)when he was told numerous times to change it. He was proud of being of Italian heritage. And yes he did record a couple of song in Italian. Look up the facts. So Mr. Skee I think you are an Idiot and after reading your article I can see that you inherited from your father I guess Mr.Skee Sr.
Sinatra and Joey Skee
Sir,
Thank you for continuing the dialogue about Sinatra. Indirectly it is a great tribute to the publishers and programmers who created and maintain i-Italy, that almost seven months after Joey posted his note on Sinatra, the dialogue can continue.
More to your point, if you have read my comments to this Sinatra dialogue, you know that I agree with the substance and spirit of your opinion about Sinatra. However, without trying to ‘upstage’ Joey, you should know that ‘Joey Skee’ is a nickname and his real name is very much Italian. Nicknames were very common in Italian American communities in the ‘Little Italy’ days and seemingly ‘Joey’ has carried that tradition forward.
Also, I understand the impatient tone of your note as it pertains to Joey. He has, shall I say, a ‘snippy’ and almost self-righteous writing style. Personally, earlier in the year (2008) I entered into a couple of extended dialogues with him and subsequently resolved not to in the future because of this style (not necessarily his substance).
However, he is a major contributor of interesting and provocative ideas about Italian American history and culture. I hope you will not be offended if I say that, your tone disrespects a person who Italian Americans should appreciated. As you say, “Yes there are times that the man is less then cordial and maybe abusive.” Paraphrasing you further, “But you do not condemn a [writer] because of a couple of [things he says, even if offensive].” In short, Joey is so very much not an “Idiot.”
Again, I absolutely agree with what you say about Sinatra, absolutely disagree with Joey Skee, and understand why he got under your skin. However, we take the good with the bad, and Joey’s good far outweighs what may be bad in our respective opinions. Indeed, we would not be having this discussion if it were not for Joey’s post.
Thank you again for keep the dialogue alive. As they would say in Radio Day’s: “Keep those cards and letters coming folks.”
Best Tom Verso
thoughtful words
Thank you, Thomas. a belated Merry Natale & Happy 2009! joey s.
The dialogue continues
Joe, thank you very much for your very informative and detailed response to my comment – I learned a lot from it and it helped focus my thinking. One of the reasons that I “moved my act”, as it were, from H-ItAm to i-Italy was that I could post here without having to get cleared by the editor. However, if one did get posted at H-ItAm, the dialogue was more vigorous there than here on i-Italy. This Sinatra discussion is proving to be an appreciated exception. Like Socrates, I believe that knowledge, to the extent that one can attain it, comes through dialogue. In that spirit, I will respond to your cogent observations.
However, because of the length of my response, tangential comments, and I have not, as you obviously have, figured out how to get paragraph breaks in the comment section; I have posted my response on my blog (call it “home court advantage” if you will). Accordingly, if you have the time and are of the mind: “come up on my porch and ‘set a spell’ – I may have a story to tell.” Tom
& all in the public sphere!
Tom,
I read your new post; give me 24 hrs + to reply; I'm just logging in tonight, and between a full day of work tomorrow and a beautiful spring weekend in NYC underway, it will take me a bit to reply.
a few brief comments here:
it's interesting that you find the replies on H-ItAm "vigorous"; I find them to be a bore. I unsubscribed a long time ago & now only post Calandra announcements there.
We are in agreement re: dialogue.
Ottorino emailed me today re: line breaks > it appears the problem has been fixed. hopefully my comment here will prove that.
I'll stop by soon: shall I bring wine like the Americans or pasteries like the Italians?
nite, j.
FYI H-ItAm
I should think that Italian American scholars would want to use H-ItAm to promote scholarship and, perhaps more importantly, our image as scholars. I don't understand why the editors, advisors, and sponsors of the site let Dominic Candeloro use the site as his personal play thing.
Below please find, for your information, a note I recently sent to Fred Gardaphe, one of the nominal editors of H-ItAm.
//////////////// H-ItAm has essentially become a kiosk for posting notices of events. There is hardly any scholarly discussion such has one might expect on a list that is nominally about history and is under the aegis of one of the great schools of history – Michigan State University.
This is no accident. As one who has submitted numerous items over a number of years, and have had many ignored (no posting – no comment), I can say that the character of the list is clearly the result of editorial policy. Other list members (now former members like me) have expressed similar experiences.
It’s your list to do with as you will. I don’t question that. I just can’t help but wonder, as a scholar, why the editors systematically avoid rigorous substantive, and yes heated, debate and exchanges about Italianita such as there was when Ben Lawton was the editor. Of course, the question is rhetorical.
Ciao for now
Tom Verso //////
And, of course, Gardaphe did not respond.
I stopped subscribing to
I stopped subscribing to H-Itam a few years ago because it started to read like the online newsletter of Alleanza Nazionale. Reactionary politics, racism, ethnic resentment and self-pity, homophobia, etc. In other words, all the worst of Italo-America.
H-ItAm
I'm sorry to hear your comments about H-ItAm and my work as editor. The changing nature of the net with all of the outlets for personal expression like I-Italy, blogs, Facebook and Twitter have impacted the listserv. It plays a different role today than it did 10 years ago. For more info on the origins of the H-ItAm go to the Altre Italie website and search for my article on the subject.I frankly can't recall when I failed to forward Mr. Verso's posts and would welcome the resubscription of all critics. Dominic